Meet The Cast of Characters

Around here, everyone has a job to do. There's no lolly-gagging allowed on a farm. You have to earn your keep.

The cat, Ethel, is in charge of internal extermination and quality control. Part of her job description includes regular patrols inside the house for any suspicious mouse activity. (Yes, I'm admitting on the Internet for the whole world to see that we have mice. It's a 100-year-old house on a farm; it comes with the territory every Fall.) She also inspects every quilt and other products manufactured here on the homestead. Sometimes she'll even fill in as a paperweight or foot-warmer in a pinch.

The beagle, Lucy, is in charge of the alarm system and pest control. If a squirrel, chipmunk or raccoon makes the mistake of stopping by for a visit, she will chase it up a tree and bark at it until the sun sets. That might be two hours or twelve; doesn't matter, she's dedicated to her job. You don't want to know what she does with rabbits, so I won't mention it.

Then there is Bandit, Head Farm Dog in Charge. He is the house and garden security expert. Unlike Lucy, he never barks unless he really needs to. He is aloof and has stealth capabilities. He prefers to sneak up on intruders. We don't know all of his background, since he came from the shelter, but we think he was a former Army Ranger or Navy Seal. Most people who come here are afraid of him. He shows no emotion except that I-could-kill-you-if-I-really-wanted-to look sometimes.

 

The Fat Bottom Girls are here to exterminate insects, lay eggs and manufacture fertilizer, pretty much in that exact order. They also work long hours in the garden.

Old One-Eyed Calico Jack is here to keep watch over the hens. He fluffs the nests and announces the arrival of the eggs and the sun; because we surely would miss the sunrise if he didn't remind us it was happening.

The Golden Girls, Laverne and Shirly and others are on the landscaping crew; they mow the grass, eradicate weeds and spread fertilizer. During the off season they run a cottage industry producing wool to be used for spinning, weaving and/or felting.

The llama ladies work under cover on the day shift counting sheep and giving passersby the stink-eye. They are like the behind-the-scenes mall employees who watch for shoplifters; they may not look like they are working but they are ready to sound the alarm at a moments notice.