It's me, Lucy.
I used to be the princess around here. I used to get all the petting. I slept in the master's bed. I shared the master's couch. Then along came that cat. And I was told I had to "share". That was okay though, she would knock the barbecue chicken wings off the counter to me when nobody was looking. And sometimes she could be kind of fun. So I decided she could stay. But the next thing you know, the big dog showed up. And I had to keep him company instead of sleeping in the bed. They said there wasn't enough room anymore for everybody. I had to "share" my treats and toys and everything.
Then there were the chickens. They would be a lot of fun to chase, but I'm not allowed to do that. I get in trouble if I do that. And Mom spends all her time with them instead of me. Now there are four more animals around here. I suppose they're going to expect me to share all my stuff with them too! It's just not fair! I don't even think they're real dogs!
Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
I think I'll go eat some worms.