What Are They Complaining About?

“I don’t know why Lucy and Ethel are complaining,” said Bandit.

“At least they have a show.”

“I can’t even get any commercials."

Lucy & Ethel

I tried explaining to them that just because Laverne & Shirley are here doesn’t mean they’ve lost their prime time slot. In fact, I told them, there is plenty of room on the Front Porch Indiana network to accommodate them, The Golden Girls, The Dukes AND Laverne & Shirley. But being the divas that they are, Lucy is sulking and Ethel keeps giving me the you-disgust-me stare.

Luckily for them they realized going on strike was of no use. The only thing they could give up doing is eating, and I assure you neither of them are willing to go that far.

Free Bantam Easter Eggers

Old One-Eyed Jack says it’s time for these babies to hit the road. Anybody want some chickens?

Laverne & Shirley

“Good morning, ladies. Are you ready to go to work?” I asked as I opened the door to the sheep shack this morning.

“You want us to eat all of THAT? Are you crazy? We’re just two little lambs!”

“Okay then, how about we start small with just this little section right outside the door until you get used to your new jobs?”

“Shirl, I’m not so sure this was such a good idea.”

I Would Like to Introduce You to…

our two newest farm hands,

Laverne

and Shirley.

 

They tired of their jobs at Shotz Brewery and decided to go into the landscaping business. It’s late, hot, and they’re settling in for the night with their milk and Pepsi. We’ll talk more in the morning.

Folks, I Really Need Your Help This Time

My Dear Readers,

Anytime I’ve asked for anything on this little old blog you’ve all blown me away with your generosity. You give so willingly of your time and talents. So that’s why I turn to you first today. You see today, we have learned, that a very special woman needs your time and talents.

If you’ve been hanging out here for awhile you know I don’t normally go into a lot of detail about the humans in the family, so I’ll have to fill you in on a little background. The Engineer is from Newfoundland. His parents still live there, as well as his sister, Cathy.

Cathy is mentally delayed, is 41 years old and, we now know, has cancer. This isn’t her first battle with the disease. She battled a giant cell tumor in her back and ribs in 1989 and was in a back brace for six months while endured three months of radiation treatment. She beat it. This time around her ovaries, liver and lungs are affected. She starts chemo tomorrow and I have no doubt she can beat this, too. She is one tough cookie.

Cathy dreamed for years of living independently, to have a place of her own. Two years ago she finally achieved that goal. She attends school and constantly strives to improve her reading skills. Cathy volunteers and is the very first person to lend a hand to anyone who needs it. She loves people and is quite the social butterfly. In fact, that’s where you come in. I just know Cathy would love nothing more than to receive cards, letters or a scribbled note on the back of a napkin for that matter, from all over the country. I can just imagine the excitement in her eyes. So if I could ask this one very important favor of you I would be forever in your debt. If you can send something, please email me via the “contact me” link over there on the left column of the blog (it’s under the “about me” heading) with “Cathy” in the subject line. I’ll send back an address where your item can be sent.

Of course, if you are the praying sort, we would appreciate a mention. And if you happen to know where we might be able to find the most beautiful headscarves, please let us know. She deserves the best.

Forever yours,

No Really, We’re Full, Thanks.

Day, after day, after day the radar has looked like this.

The ground reached its saturation point long ago.

The storms have been particularly violent.

We’ve been lucky compared to others.

So I’m not going to rant. I’m just going to politely say, “We’re full, thanks, feel free to share some of this with the rest of the country.” We can’t take any more rain, because I’m getting my vehicle fixed and the rental agreement specifically said “no pets”. I noticed it said nothing about livestock, however. If we have to move to higher ground, the Golden Girls will have to ride in this with me while the cat and dogs ride in the truck.

Don’t think I wouldn’t do it…